


Who's Bucky?

by leahthesith



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22457002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leahthesith/pseuds/leahthesith
Summary: Bucky hasn't been feeling well mentally and decides to erase himself from existence. During the time he's gone, Steve can sense something is off, but can't figure out why.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	Who's Bucky?

Bucky hasn't been doing too good lately. He recently started living at the avengers facility so he could be with Steve and heal from his trauma. However, after doing the math, Bucky realized that during this time he has woke Steve up 227 times from his nightmares, broken 74 dishes and/or appliances because someone accidentally triggered him, and injured 36 employees due to the same reason as before. His mind was tearing him apart, he was having panic attacks almost every other day and it was slowing the team down. No one had said anything but he could tell they were thinking about it due to the faces they would give Steve.

Bucky loved Steve so much, but he decided that it was time for him to leave. Steve had tracked him down before so this time Bucky knew he had to leave in a way Steve couldn't find him. Which is how he found himself in the New York Sanctum with Stephen Strange.

"I'm sorry James, but I don't think I can help you."

"My name is Bucky" He paused as he pulled on his long hair and on the verge of tears continued, "but please Stephen, I don't know what else to do and I just can't seem to mentally recover. I need you to help me."

Stephen sighed with a bit of annoyance, "I'll do this for you, Bucky, but you must understand how serious this is."

Bucky nodded as Stephen continued with his explanation, "This would erase you from existence, no one will know who you were or anything about you."

Despite Stephen's expectations, Bucky breathed out a sigh of relief, "That's all I want Stephen."

Stephen gave Bucky a sad look as he started looking through his books to make sure there was nothing new he would have to do. After his confirmations, Stephen turned back to Bucky, "This might hurt, but only for a minute. Are you prepared?"

Bucky took a deep breath before nodding as Stephen began waving his hands around, creating the golden trails of light that mesmerized Bucky. Before he knew it everything was black as he was watched his life flash before his eyes. Smiling at his memories of him and Steve, and grimacing when he saw the memories of being the Winter Soldier.

After a while, Bucky was on the Sanctum's floor again, he looked around the room frowning before looking up at Stephen, "Did it not work? Why can I still see you?"

"I have removed you from existence like you asked, however I've left your astral from because I worry this may have not been the best choice for you. Now please excuse me, I have some other matters to attend to."

Bucky nodded before walking, he paused thinking about it, he floated away and headed back towards the avengers facility to see what he had missed while gone.

*

Steve woke up in a panic, wide eyed and sweaty, he threw on some sweatpants and rushed into the living room where the other avengers were casually sitting about.

"Steve? What's wrong?" He heard one of them ask.

He looked around to see that it had been Nat who spoke up, "T-There's nothing wrong?" Steve choked out.

The team gave him a confused look as Sam pulled him into a nearby chair, "What are you talking about?"

"I just woke up and it felt like there was something wrong, I wasn't sure what so I rushed in here." Steve looked around with a feeling like someone was missing but he shook it off.

"No it's okay Steve, everything is okay, maybe you just had a nightmare and didn't realize it." Bruce said.

Steve nodded his head, feeling himself calm down, "Yeah you're probably right, I'm sorry for scaring everyone."

Bucky watched everyone from the corner of the room, and was deep in thought.

'Was Steve looking for me?' Bucky quickly dismissed the thought sadly, of course he wasn't, Bucky doesn't exist now.

It was still pretty early in the day so Bucky heard Steve ask if anyone wanted breakfast, half the team agreed while the others scattered to their rooms saying that they already ate.

Steve got out all of the ingredients to make breakfast foods and laid them out on the counter. He began making scrambled eggs because he knew how much his friend loved them, he paused hearing Wanda asking him a question, "Steve, why are you making so many eggs?"

"Because Bucky loves them" He replied and then paused realizing he doesn't know a Bucky.

"Who's Bucky?" Nat asked.

Steve made a confused face, "I don't know, it just slipped out. We don't know a Bucky right?"

Tony shook his head, "We've never heard of a Bucky before."

Steve continued making his confused face, "That's so odd. Does anyone know where the measuring cup is?"

"It's in the cabinet above you." Wanda replied.

Steve mumbled out a thank you with a smile as he grabbed it, before remembering they used to have a glass one, "What happened to the glass measuring cup?" He asked.

"Someone broke it, but no one would confess to who." Tony said a little passive aggressively.

Steve wore his confused face again, thinking that he remembered a small fight over the cup because it was a nice one. He didn't say anything and just continued making breakfast.

Bucky frowned remembering when he accidentally broke the cup because someone accidentally said the wrong word around him. He still missed Steve, but he was glad to not be a nuisance anymore.

For a while, everything was silent except for their forks against the plates. There were a few questions of someone asking for a food or drink to be passed, but that was it.

Wanda was sensing something was off but she couldn't place her finger on it, she kept glancing to the corner of the room where Bucky was, but nothing was there. She kept brushing it off, but it wouldn't go away.

Nat noticed this, "Wanda, are you okay?"

Everyone looked towards her with worry, but she nodded, "Yes I'm fine, I believe I'm just getting that weird feeling Steve was mentioning earlier."

Tony rubbed his stubble in thought, "Maybe it's just an off day for us, I think we'll be fine by the time today is over."

Everyone nodded in agreement before they randomly put their dishes in the sink and returned to their rooms to relax for a while. Bucky followed Steve to his room and watched with sad eyes as Steve shrugged his pants off and crawled back into bed to continue sleeping. He noticed that Steve grabbed a pillow to cuddle with like how he usually does with Bucky when he's having nightmares.

Bucky was already about to cry again when he heard Steve calling for him in his sleep and that did it. Bucky was sobbing and Steve couldn't even comfort him because Bucky wasn't supposed to exist. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to stay away so life could be easier for Steve and the other avengers. However, on the other hand Bucky missed Steve and it was obvious Steve missed him, even if he didn't know it.

The whimpers of Steve on the verge of tears while still calling for Bucky made up his mind. He found himself going back to the Sanctum to talk with Stephen again. Bucky was about to enter when he randomly was whisked inside and was facing Stephen in the library.

"Couldn't handle it could you?" Stephen asked while reading a book.

Bucky shook his head, "You were right, I'm sorry I didn't listen before."

Stephen nodded, "Bringing you back will be easy since you're human, but I can't until tomorrow," He paused seeing Bucky wearing a concerned face, "Don't worry, you can stay here until it's time. You can help me organize these books."

Bucky nodded happily before turning towards a pile of books he couldn't understand the titles of, but he began to try and help anyways.

After many hours of helping Stephen and meeting Wong who brought Stephen some tea, 24 hours had finally passed and they began on bringing him back.

"Like before, this may hurt a little, but it's going to be a similar process, okay?"

Bucky nodded and Stephen waved his hands, and Bucky was once again casted into the dark, seeing his life flashing before him, but in reverse this time. Once it was over, Bucky was on the floor again and could feel his legs this time.

"Thank you so much Stephen!" Bucky said and abruptly hugged him, Stephen was taken aback, but lightly hugged Bucky too.

Bucky frowned realizing he was going to have to deal with his mind again, "Stephen is there anything you can do to help my brain?"

Stephen walked over to the shelves and pulled out another book that Bucky still couldn't understand, "There's nothing that I can do majorly, but I can help ease your brain slightly."

Bucky nodded happily, "Anything will help!"

Stephen once again waved his hands around creating the golden strings of light and waved them towards Bucky, "Obviously you won't feel the effects immediately, but there's something there."

Bucky nodded and thanked Stephen again before leaving to head back towards the avengers facility.

Stephen turned to see Wong standing in the library with him giving him a confused look, "Strange, there is no spell to calm someone's brain?"

Stephen smiled, "I know, I think a little placebo magic will help him though."

Once Bucky reached the avengers facility he bypassed everyone asking if he was okay and made way towards Steve's room. He unintentionally slammed the door open, waking up Steve.

"Bucky? What are you doing?" Steve asked, worried that Bucky might have been activated again due to him smelling like herbal tea for some reason.

Bucky ignored him as he pulled Steve's face towards his and kissed him with all the emotion that was pent up in him from yesterday. Their lips moved together in sync before they both pulled away, out of breath.

"Now, what was that for Buck?" Steve asked.

"I just love you." Bucky replied before they kissed again and laid down to cuddle and relax.

"I love you too Bucky."

**Author's Note:**

> This story idea came from @/em_dibujsb on twitter!


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